My Kitten's Drunk
by WittyVitale
Summary: Mia becomes very drunk one night and Diego takes care of her. Craziness followed by good ol' Mia/Diego fluff. Rated for language and suggestive themes. Some bisexual references.


**My Kitten's Drunk**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Phoenix Wright, Capcom does.

**Author's Note (READ THIS BEFORE READING)**: All right, my first T rated PW fic! This is a little different from the stuff I've written so far. This is a short and silly story that came to my mind one night while I was procrastinating. Mia's a little OOC, but that's to be expected. And as a small note, I play around with a drinking myth for the sake of a story.

Again, there are some implications of bisexuality. The references aren't the main focus of the story, but if you're not into that stuff, you may not enjoy this (I say this b/c I don't want to be flamed). **ALSO THE MISSPELLINGS AND LACK OF SPACES ARE INTENTIONAL. **OK, enough from me, Enjoy!

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_Maybe this wasn't such a good idea_, Diego thought as he looked at his girlfriend across the table. Mia was completely intoxicated. She was laughing hysterically at God knows what and her face was bright red.

Mia had never had a glass of alcohol in her life. Not even in college. Mia said she was "too wrapped up in her studies to go to any parties". Diego thought she needed the experience of drinking alcohol at least once, and bought a bottle of Pinot Grigio for both of them to share. He thought she would appreciate the taste. "A classy wine for a classy lady" he grinned as he poured her a glass. Unfortunately for Mia, she enjoyed the wine a little too much. She had about two and a half glasses of the stuff, which isn't really too much, but Mia learned that night that she had a very low alcohol tolerance. Diego was both amused and disturbed by her behavior, and he was glad they were in the safety of his apartment as opposed to being in public.

"Diego, I wanna tell you a couple of things." Mia slurred, ceasing her laughter and looking into Diego's sharp eyes with her tired, glossy ones.

Diego cocked an eyebrow and grinned. "What is it, Kitten?" he asked.

"Do you—doyou know Lana Skye?"

"The detective? Yeah, we've worked on some of the same cases," Diego replied, having absolutely no idea where this conversation was going. "Why?"

"Isn't she hot?" Mia asked with complete seriousness.

Diego was taken completely off-guard by Mia's question and spit out the coffee he was drinking (apparently Diego enjoys coffee with his wine.) "Could… could you repeat that, Kitten?" he sputtered, his usual cockiness failing him.

"Do you think she's hot? Iwan-I wanna male opinion on this. We kinda had a thing in college, y'know? Did I tell you we were together in college?"

"Wait, wait," Diego said, still in the process of getting over his shock. "You were in a relationship with Detective Skye in college?!"

"(hic) yeeeeeeah…" Mia answered, smile slowly creeping up her face as the memories came back to her.

Diego had to admit, imagining those two together was pretty hot, but he was confused about something. "Kitten, are you… a lesbian?" he slowly asked.

Mia giggled wildly before answering. "heehee, if I were, would Ibe dating you, silly? I'mnot a lesbian, but I like girls. At the very least I'm bi," she hiccupped at the end of her sentence. Her expression suddenly turned from one of mirth to one of solemnity. "That… that doesn't make you love me any less, does it?" she asked in a childlike voice, eyes starting to fill up with tears.

_Oh boy, she's one of __**those**__ drunks_, Diego thought to himself, shaking his head with a small smile on his face. He stood up from his chair, positioned himself behind Mia, and gave her a big hug.

"Everything about you is beautiful," he whispered in her ear. "Everything you _are_ is beautiful. I love you for you, and nothing will ever change that." With that, Diego gave Mia a peck on the cheek.

"Great!" Mia yelled in Diego's ear, shattering the tender moment (and his eardrum.) Diego's hand shot up to his ear and he winced in pain. "Because I also slept with Grossberg!"

Diego forgot the pain in his ear, and locked his eyes on Mia, an indescribable look of horror on his face.

Mia began to laugh hysterically. She even started snorting, she was laughing so hard. When her chuckles began to die down, she shook her head. "Nonono, that wasa joke, I wanted to see how you would react. And it was SO WORTH IT!" Mia erupted into maniacal laughter again as Diego let out a huge sigh of relief. "The Lana thing was true though, heehee."

"Kitten, don't scare me like that. You almost gave me a heart attack." He reached for his cup of coffee and took another swig.

"OMG irony!!" Mia said, pointing to Diego and starting to laugh again.

Diego raised an eyebrow. "…Did you just say OMG?" he asked, stifling another laugh.

"(hic)… yeah… you gotta problem wit that?"

Diego chuckled to himself. "I don't think I'm going to buy you another alcoholic beverage for a long time."

"No, no," Mia protested, sitting upright. "We NEED to do this again, like… ummm… every… YEAH! Once every week!! This has been soooo much fun."

"Ha!..." Diego laughed, smiling to himself again. "I have to admit, you are quite the amusing drunk, Kitten. I had no idea you would go through such a drastic personality change."

Mia giggled again and stood up. "Diego, you're suuuuch a sexy boy!" she slurred as she clumsily pumped her fist in front of her. She wavered from side to side and was about to fall over. Luckily, Diego was behind her in an instant to catch her.

"Whoaaa, easy there, Kitten," he said as Mia burst out laughing again. "Wouldn't want a pretty little kitty like you to get hurt now, would we?"

Mia, still in Diego arms, began to blush. She looked up at Diego and smiled. "Oh Diego, I lo-" she slapped her hand over her mouth.

Diego grinned again as he lifted Mia back to her feet. He thought it was cute that she was being shy now. "You can tell me, Kitten, we both already know it." He said gently.

Mia pushed herself out of Diego's arms. "I think I'm gonna be sick!" she said urgently as she stumblingly ran into the bathroom. She kneeled herself before the almighty porcelain god and purged the evil out of her body.

Diego walked over to Mia and kneeled behind her. He held her hair behind her head as she continued to vomit. After a few minutes, Mia took a couple of deep breaths and slumped over the bowl, experience apparently taking a toll on her.

Diego soothingly rubbed her back. "Do you feel any better now?" he asked softly.

Mia grunted and lifted her head up. "Ye-yeah. That felt pretty good," she said quietly, seeming a lot calmer now.

"Is it all right if I pick you up? Can you handle that?"

Mia turned to him and smiled sickly, a little bit of vomit on her chin. "I'd like that."

Diego grabbed a tissue and wiped the sickness off of Mia's face. He gently cradled her in his arms and lifted her up. When she was comfortably in Diego's arms, Mia rested her head against his chest and purred. Diego's pet name for her suited her perfectly. He smiled at this realization and gave her a little squeeze.

They finally arrived in the bedroom and Diego lowered Mia onto the bed. He propped her upper body against the head board.

"Stay here, Kitten." he said, knowing that Mia probably wouldn't get up, even if she wanted to; she was so ill she could barely move.

Mia groaned, but she still had a small smile on her lips. "Allright." She replied in a sing-song voice.

Diego left the room but quickly returned with a glass of water and a plate with two slices of white bread. Mia looked over at these items with half-closed eyes. "Hey, isn'tthat what your clients eat everyday?" she asked, voice sounding strained.

"Ha!... I guess that's one way of putting it," he sat down next to her and lifted the glass of water to her lips. "Bread and water will help you sober up and make you feel better. Ready?"

Mia nodded and Diego helped her take a few sips of water. "Good girl." He said encouragingly.

After Mia drank half of the glass, he reached for the bread. "Think you can stomach this?"

"I… Ithink so."

"All right then. Open wide." Mia giggled like a child at Diego's last sentence and opened her mouth. He tore the bread into tiny pieces and slowly fed Mia. "How's that? Good?"

Mia gave a light laugh. "It's bread, Diego."

Diego chuckled as he popped another piece into Mia's mouth. "Hehe, I know a woman with class such as yourself would prefer something more sophisticated. But right now, we need to focus on getting you better."

"Ughnnnn." Mia groaned as she was chewing a piece of bread. She was starting to feel sick again.

"So Mia, what did you learn tonight?" Diego asked as he gently stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Umm… wasI supposed to learn anything tonight?" she slurred.

Diego laughed lightly. "Maybe I should ask you in the morning." He started to rip another piece of bread off for her.

"Mmm, no more," she said putting her hand in front of her. "I'm really tired."

Diego smiled and put the plate down. "All right, Kitten. I'll let you sleep."

"Wait,wait," Mia placed her hand on Diego's arm. "You're… not leaving, are you? Could you pleasestay?"

Diego grinned. "I would never leave you, Kitten," he said as he climbed to her side on the bed. She gave him a weak, awkward kiss on his cheek when he arrived. He placed his arm around her shoulders and she nuzzled her head against his chest. She purred again, which caused Diego to bring her closer to him.

With a yawn, Mia said, "Thank you, Diego," and her eyes began to close. "I… I love you." With that, she fell dead asleep on Diego's chest.

Diego kissed the top of her head. "I love you too, Mia-mine." He whispered. He watched Mia sleep for a little while before he fell asleep himself, with his kitten still curled up against his chest.

* * *

Morning arrived and Mia slowly opened her eyes. She immediately shut them again; the light seeping through the blinds was far too bright. She was then aware of an excruciating pain in her head. She hissed and clutched her head in between her hands. All this sound and movement roused Diego from his sleep.

"Well good morning, Kitten," he said as he looked down at Mia. "How are you feeling?"

"Shhhh, not so loud, Diego," Mia hushed as she clutched her head tighter. "My head is killing me."

"Ha!..." Diego laughed loudly, temporarily forgetting Mia's sensitivity to sound. Mia screamed in pain. "Oh, sorry, Kitten," he whispered. "Looks like you have quite the hangover. Do you remember anything from last night?"

"Umm…" then it all came flooding back to her. She slumped face down on Diego's chest and moaned. "Oh god, I made such an ass of myself last night! I'm so sorry, Diego…"

"Hey now, no need to apologize. It was just the two of us. If you're going to make an ass of yourself, wouldn't you rather it be with me?"

Mia sighed, face still buried in Diego's chest. "I guess. But I'd rather not make an ass of myself at all. It's so beneath me."

Diego chuckled, stroked the back of Mia's head, and kissed her. "I'll ask again: What did you learn last night, Mia?"

Mia groaned, not moving from her current position. "I'm never drinking again!"

"Ha!..." Diego said loudly again, causing another scream of pain from Mia. "Sorry, Kitten." He continued running his fingers through her hair gently. "Mind if I ask one thing?"

"What?" Mia asked, voice muffled.

He grinned like a tiger that had just caught his prey. "Could you tell me a little more about your college fling with Lana Skye?"

THE END

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**End Note: **Credit for the "I'm not a lesbian, but I like girls" line goes to a friend of mine XD And as a side note, I'm not really a fan of Mia/Lana, but I thought mentioning the pairing in this kind of situation was fitting.

Also, I'm working on two other Miego fics. One is an AU that includes a baby (that one will be up soon, it's insanely fluffy and I'm happy with it) and the other one has an odd plot that I currently have writer's block with. I'm not sure if the latter will make it, but the former eventually will, so keep your eyes out for it.

I'll admit, I've never written a fic like this one before, so I'm a bit nervous about how this will be received. But if you feel inclined to review, please do. Thanks for reading!


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